SOME GREAT THINGS ABOUT GETTING OLDER (cough, cough)

 * Finally you can eat dinner at 4:00

 * Your investment in health insurance is beginning to pay off.

 * Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

 * It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

 * If you've never smoked you can start now and it won't have time to hurt you.

 * People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

 * Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

 * Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

 * Your eyes won't get much worse.

 * Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.

 * Things you buy now won't wear out.

 * No one expects you to run into a burning building.

 * You don't need the shingles with the 30 year guarantee.

 * There is no need to spend money for a psychic to see your future.

 * Someone else will have the unpleasant task of burying your pets.

 * There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

 * Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

 * Protecting your eyes during a solar eclipse isn't as important as it used to be.

 * Buying cheap tires and not rotating them makes economic sense.

 * You don't have to learn the name of the new UPS man.

 * No one thinks you're cheap because you don't buy a half a cow to freeze.

 * You may never have to vacuum under the bed again.

 * Taking the shortest magazine subscription is economically defensible.

 * You don't have to bother planting perennials.

 * In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

 * There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
 
 

  * You never have to go through another plebe year.
 

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Updated:  16 July 2001	Class News	Classmates	Site Map	USNA 63